


Signing Off

by Fangirlingmanaged



Series: Endgame Therapy [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Protective Steve Rogers, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 09:46:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16992663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirlingmanaged/pseuds/Fangirlingmanaged
Summary: Tony's hail mary reaches its destination.





	Signing Off

Tony’s message is received by what’s left of the avengers on a Thursday. Steve has to stop Rhodey from shooting out of the room half-cocked before the recording is even up. It earns him a punch to the jaw, with one of them watch gauntlets Steve didn’t even know Rhodey had, but it’s well worth it. The rest of Tony’s message is… worrying. Steve’s a planner, a soldier, and he’s seen this before. The way Tony looks right now reminds him of Bucky when they rescued him and the rest of the 107th from captivity. He has the presence of mind not to say this out loud because he’s damn sure either Rhodey or even Sam would punch him again, but still. It makes a heavy weight sink in his stomach because while the memories are hard to think about, looking at Tony like this feels even worse.

He had always been, well, more. More than Steve knew. More than he could comprehend. More than he deserved. That last one is the thing that kills him the most. Even at his worst, Steve always knew Tony was more than he deserved. Maybe, he thinks as he looks at the backdrop of Tony’s message, the wonderful terrifying reality of all those stars, maybe more than Earth itself deserved. Maybe that’s why fate itself had taken him away from them. But no, he tells himself with a violent shake of the head, that’s not true. This wasn’t fate, hell, it wasn’t even Thanos, this was them. All of them, and their refusal to hear even one bit of the things Tony had tried to tell them about. This was _them_ and it was about damn time they started owning up to it.

“ _Steve, are you even there?_ ” Tony’s hologram says. The soldier jerks in his seat, his head snapping up to look at him. The rest of the room goes silent, and they fade from his periphery. He only has eyes for him. _God,_ it’s been fucking years and the sound of Tony’s voice still brings back the memories of sitting in a balcony sipping beer and talking about everything and anything. Months, years, of drills and sparring sessions and museum visits and concerts and workshop visits and just… everything Tony had given him. Given them. Memories of the touch of his pinky finger where it hooked to Steve’s, the feeling of his beard prickly and soft in equal measure against Steve’s chin, the fluffy hair after waking up, the taste of blueberries from Tony’s mouth… it all comes rushing back even now. _“I know it’s been a while. I know it’s… God, I can’t do this like this. I just. We’ve… we’ve run out of food and water. Oxygen will run out… tomorrow? I just wanted to say don’t worry about me, Cap. Part of the journey is the end, and… when I drift off, I will dream about you. It’s always you.”_

“So what’s the plan?” Thor’s voice booms from the entry way. It’s the most aware anyone has seen him look since the battle against Thanos. Everyone of them knows that he has lost, what nobody knows, but out of all of them Thor looks to be faring the worse. His dual-colored eyes stare intently at Tony’s hologram, though, the determination they have always admired in him coming off of him in waves. Nobody speaks to answer his question, and he turns around to glare at Steve. The Captain’s insides turn at the hostility and accusation in his eyes. “You cannot expect us to sit idle and let him die.”

“Thor,” Natasha starts softly, the way she used to talk to the Hulk when she was trying to do a lullaby. If anything, it bristles Thor even further. “We don’t know how old this transmission is. Even if we were absolutely certain that he’s still—”

“Six years, in Midgardian terms,” Thor says evenly. There is something in his eyes none of them have ever seen before. It looks too much like hate. “By my estimation, the Man of Iron has been warning about this very thing for six years. Nobody listened. Now, here we are.” His eyes turn to Steve, it’s eerie to watch, but he can’t look away. This isn’t the jovial Thor they all know, this might not even be the Thor that existed before his banishment, this is new. This… Steve remembers seeing this kind of look before. It’s the eyes of a man who came out of a cave in Afghanistan with a hole in his chest, a mortal who fell from the sky in a tin can… this Thor is different in a way that looks familiar.

“Even if he were still… there,” Natasha presses on. Steve understands, she’s always been the most pragmatic one, the one to look at the bigger picture, but this isnt’ helping. He sees it in the way Thor’s hands tighten into fists, and the change in Rhodey’s posture. “we don’t have the resources to send out a rescue—”

“Actually we do,” Bruce pipes in from where he had been studying the hologram. He had a tablet in his hand, FRIDAY running diagnostics for him as the only one with the access codes now, and Steve refuses to think of how much that hurts. “Thor, Stormbreaker might be able to, right?”

“It is possible. Risky, but possible,” Thor says and he looks a little more relaxed when he looks at Bruce. Rhodes steps forward too, his eyes glued to the scientist with the type of desperation the devout look at their saints. Steve can relate.

“I survived it,” Bruce tells him as he keeps scrolling through his tablet. His voice sounds hopeful, now, and Steve’s heart clenches. He still hasn’t said a word. _Please,_ he thinks, staring at his hands, _please say it can._

“Yes, but. Anthony is human. Fully human, Banner, the stress it would take on his body if we were to—”

“Actually, he might not be anymore,” Rhodes says quietly. The entire room falls silent with a heavy kind of tension. Steve’s mind stutters to a stop.

“Excuse me?” Banner says politely, his hands clenching on the tablet.

“FRI, the Phoenix project schematics. Access code: WARMACHINEROX91,” Rhodes says with his arms crossed.

Banner’s tablet lights up with a hologram in the shape of a human being. Those anatomical sketch things Steve has seen in some books. He can see the organs of the figure and the veins; around the hologram pop up charts and schematics and tables and numbers. But what calls Steve’s attention, what forces him to get off his ass and push past Natasha is the semi-triangular object in the chest of the figure.

“What the fuck did he do?” the words come out of him like he has been punched in the stomach.

“What he had to,” Rhodes says with an edge to his voice. When Steve meets his eyes, there is a challenge there.

“He did it,” Steve says in both wonder and terror. They had talked about this, back when Steve still had his head screwed on straight and Tony wasn’t as broken. Back when Steve could still feel wonder at all the impossible things tony did on a daily basis. He had told him, late at night with that sparkle in his eyes, about the nanos. “Son of a bitch, he actually finished,” a chuckle leaves his lips. Then a laugh. The others look at him in concern, but he can’t help himself. It’s the first time in over two years that he’s felt this lighthearted even under the circumstances.

“Yeah, he did,” Rhodes says, and when Steve meets his eyes some of the contempt has left. He looks… relieved.

“What does that mean for us now?” Natasha asks, refocusing the group. Thor’s hands tighten in displeasure.

“It means Thor and Stormbreaker can actually go get him. The nanos strengthened… everything about him. His bones, his neural and cardiovascular system… his body is in perfect shape. Not only that, but if he were to be injured the nanos would take care to repair whatever damage might be done until he could get proper medical attention. Even if, unlikely as though it might be, his body couldn’t take the strain all that would happen is that he would shut down until someone administered proper medical care. Which,” Banner says with a determined expression. “is what I’m here for.”

“Thought you weren’t that kind of doctor,” Steve says with a half smile.

“For this, I can be,” the doctor responds determinedly. He doesn’t return the smile, and Steve didn’t expect him to. Both him and Thor are different, now, and well… now they know the story. They’re well aware of what has happened in the last two years since they’d been gone.

“When?” Is all Thor says.

“Give me until tomorrow,” Banner says, already walking out of the room. “He’s gonna need medical, and everything here is a mess. The least we can do is prepare.”

“Very well,” Thor says with a tight nod. He leaves the room as well, and Rhodes silently slips out of the room behind them.

            “Steve,” Natasha says quietly.

            “This is gonna work,” Steve says in an even voice, his eyes on the world outside their panoramic window.

            “And if it doesn’t?”

            “It will.”

            “How can you be so sure?”

            Steve doesn’t answer her, he focuses on breathing evenly, and eventually she leaves him to his thoughts. It’ not until he’s alone, surrounded by Tony’s paused hologram and the picture of those they have lost that he allows himself to think the truth.

            _Because I don’t know what I’ll do if it doesn’t._

**Author's Note:**

> someone help with the feels.


End file.
